Today I strongly felt again like all this struggle for happiness is pointless.
When I look back, I see how my level of happiness was actually stable in time, no matter what happened to me: love, loss, career, friends, fun, work…
This is actually true. What happens inside of us colors whatever we live in similar shades. It is up to us…
This piece of information is like a coin with two faces.
On one side the implication is that how we feel is in our control, not in the events that happen. This might seem empowering. If we have control over what we feel, then it doesn’t matter what comes along. We can face it!
But, on the other side, whatever „us” or „I” means, it is so incredibly hard to change! Sometimes it feels like moving mountains.
Consequently, the other side of the coin seems to bring hopelesness… If self-change is so elusive, then even the nicest events cannot save us and the pursuit of happiness is like the delusion of keep seeing water in the desert.
Sometimes we get tired of pretending to change or fight and maybe that’s ok. We can leave our weapons down and leave the battle for a while. We’ll just continue to be just as happy, or just as miserable, as before. The battle is just an ilusion for our minds. It doesn’t serve a real purpose.
There is no real purpose! There is no real meaning for life in general.
The meaning is whatever you make it to be…